Some monsters are terrifying. Others are basically an entire species disguised as a bad day at the office.
The Ultimate Horror Showdown
Few movie monsters are as terrifying—or as unfair—as The Thing.
It can imitate living organisms, perfectly copy their appearance, and quietly turn a single infected individual into a potential extinction event. Worse, you may not even know you're fighting The Thing until it is already standing next to you wearing your friend's face.
But what happens when you put The Thing up against other legendary movie characters?
Could Michael Myers stop it? Would a Xenomorph stand a chance? Could Superman simply solve the problem by flying into the sun and forgetting this whole mess ever happened?
Let's find out.
And just to make things interesting, we're assuming these characters actually have to defeat or neutralize The Thing, rather than simply run away and let Antarctica deal with it.
1. Superman — The Man of Steel Has a Very Hot Solution
Superman
The Thing's biggest advantage is that it operates through biological infiltration.
That's a problem when your opponent is Superman.
Superman's heat vision could potentially incinerate The Thing's biomass before it had an opportunity to spread. His superhuman speed also gives him a massive advantage. The Thing might imitate someone Superman knows, but good luck getting close enough to him when he can move faster than the eye can follow.
And then there's the obvious solution:
Throw it into the sun.
If Superman can determine which organism is The Thing, this fight could become less "epic battle between monsters" and more "extremely aggressive pest control."
The real danger would be allowing The Thing to infect Superman.
Because a Thing with Superman's powers?
Yeah.
Let's not think about that.
2. Pinhead — The Thing Has Never Met Customer Service Like This
Pinhead
The Thing is an organism.
Pinhead is... considerably harder to classify.
That's bad news for The Thing.
The Cenobites aren't exactly ordinary biological creatures, and Pinhead's supernatural abilities give him options that The Thing's cellular mimicry simply isn't designed to counter.
Could The Thing assimilate Pinhead?
That's debatable, and that's precisely why this matchup is so interesting.
If The Thing attempts to attack Pinhead, there's a very good chance it discovers that Hell has considerably more paperwork than Antarctica.
Pinhead could potentially banish, torture, or otherwise incapacitate The Thing without ever getting into a conventional physical fight.
And if The Thing somehow ends up inside a puzzle box?
Problem solved.
3. Dr. Manhattan — This Isn't Even Fair
Doctor Manhattan
The Thing has absolutely no business fighting Dr. Manhattan.
None.
Dr. Manhattan can manipulate matter at an absurd level, perceive events in ways ordinary humans cannot, and essentially operate on a completely different tier of existence.
The Thing could imitate a human.
It could imitate an animal.
It could imitate practically anything biological.
But what exactly happens when it tries to assimilate a being who can casually rearrange matter?
Probably something along the lines of:
The Thing: "I have absorbed you."
Dr. Manhattan: "No."
The Thing ceases to be a problem.
Next matchup.
4. Godzilla — Bring the Nuclear Option
Godzilla
Godzilla presents a fascinating problem for The Thing.
On one hand, The Thing could theoretically attempt to attack or assimilate Godzilla.
On the other hand...
Godzilla is enormous.
We're talking about a creature that can be hundreds of feet tall depending on the incarnation.
The Thing's strength is infiltration. Godzilla's strength is turning entire city blocks into parking lots.
Even if The Thing managed to infect Godzilla, the resulting creature could potentially become one of the most dangerous biological organisms imaginable.
So Godzilla needs to be careful.
But if he simply unleashes his atomic breath on a Thing infestation before it spreads?
That could be curtains.
The Thing wanted to conquer Earth.
Godzilla has already demonstrated that Earth is his preferred property.
5. The T-800 — Good Luck Assimilating a Robot
T-800
The Thing's greatest weapon is biological imitation.
The T-800 is a machine.
That's a major problem.
The Thing can copy flesh, organs, blood and other biological structures. But a Terminator doesn't have a conventional human nervous system or brain for The Thing to replace.
That means the T-800 could potentially walk into an infected facility without worrying about someone screaming:
"Don't trust him! He's one of them!"
Because everybody is already screaming that.
The Terminator also has another advantage: absolutely no fear.
It doesn't panic.
It doesn't sleep.
It doesn't get tired.
And it certainly isn't going to sit around drinking coffee with someone who might secretly have tentacles growing out of their chest.
The T-800 would methodically identify and destroy every organism it encountered.
Basically, it would treat Outpost 31 like another Tuesday.
6. The Predator — The World's Worst Hunting Trip
Predator
The Predator might actually be one of the most interesting opponents for The Thing.
The Yautja are hunters.
They possess advanced weapons, thermal vision, cloaking technology and centuries of experience hunting dangerous prey.
The Thing is practically a dream target.
Until the Predator realizes there isn't one target.
There are fifty.
And they all look different.
The Predator's biggest advantage is technology. Its biggest disadvantage is that The Thing doesn't fight fair.
A creature could pretend to be wounded.
Another could imitate a teammate.
A third could wait until the Predator removes its mask.
Suddenly this isn't a hunting trip.
It's a paranoid alien nightmare.
Still, if anyone has the equipment necessary to burn an entire infected facility to the ground, it's probably the Predator.
7. The T-1000 — Now Things Get Weird
T-1000
This might be the strangest fight on the list.
The T-1000 is already capable of mimicking people, changing its appearance and reforming after physical damage.
Sound familiar?
The Thing and the T-1000 would basically spend the entire movie looking at each other and wondering:
"Are YOU the monster?"
The major advantage for the T-1000 is that it's made from programmable liquid metal rather than ordinary biological tissue.
The Thing's assimilation process may not work on it at all.
And if it doesn't?
The T-1000 has a serious shot at winning.
Imagine The Thing revealing its true form, only for the T-1000 to casually turn its arm into a gigantic metal blade.
Then imagine The Thing realizing:
"Oh. This guy is made of knives."
8. The Bride of Frankenstein — Because The Thing Has a Type
Bride of Frankenstein
Here's where things get complicated.
The Bride isn't exactly a normal human being.
She's an artificially created organism assembled from biological parts, which raises an important question:
Could The Thing successfully assimilate her?
Maybe.
But the Bride also represents something The Thing doesn't necessarily encounter often: a creature that exists somewhere between life, death and artificial creation.
And if the matchup comes down to pure horror-movie weirdness?
The Bride has plenty.
She may not overpower The Thing through brute strength, but she could potentially be difficult to classify, manipulate or predict.
And honestly, watching these two creatures stare at each other across a laboratory would be worth the price of admission alone.
9. The Blob — The Slime Bowl From Hell
The Blob
What happens when you put one amorphous horror against another amorphous horror?
Nobody knows.
And that's what makes it fun.
The Thing can assimilate organisms.
The Blob consumes organisms.
This could quickly become the most disgusting food fight in cinematic history.
The Blob's ability to consume virtually anything makes it a terrifying opponent, while The Thing's ability to imitate and divide itself gives it tremendous versatility.
But The Blob has one enormous advantage:
You can't easily fool it.
There's no pretending to be someone's friend when your opponent's strategy is essentially:
"I eat everything."
If the Blob manages to consume The Thing's biomass before The Thing can assimilate it, the Blob could potentially win.
Either way, someone is going to need a very large mop.
10. The Tall Man — You Can't Assimilate What You Can't Understand
The Tall Man
The Tall Man from Phantasm is another opponent who could potentially give The Thing serious problems.
He's not simply some guy with a shotgun.
He's an otherworldly entity with bizarre abilities, advanced technology and an army of deadly silver spheres.
Most importantly, the Tall Man operates according to rules that don't necessarily make biological sense.
That's terrible news for The Thing.
The Thing thrives when it can infiltrate a biological ecosystem.
The Tall Man might respond by opening a portal to somewhere that makes Antarctica look like a five-star resort.
And if the silver spheres get involved?
The Thing could find itself dealing with a weapon that doesn't care what shape it's currently pretending to be.
Honourable Mentions
There are plenty of other movie characters who could potentially give The Thing a terrible day.
RoboCop — Mostly mechanical, heavily armed and not particularly concerned about being eaten.
The Fly — The biology involved here would be absolutely horrifying.
Hellboy — Supernatural durability and considerable experience dealing with monsters.
Neo — If we're talking about Neo at his peak within the Matrix, The Thing has wandered into the wrong simulation.
So Who Actually Beats The Thing?
The biggest lesson here is that The Thing is most dangerous against ordinary biological organisms.
Put it against another human being and it's terrifying.
Put it against an entire research station full of humans and it's practically an extinction-level nightmare.
But supernatural beings, machines and characters capable of manipulating matter completely change the equation.
That's why Dr. Manhattan is probably the safest bet on this list. He's operating on a level where The Thing's biological advantages simply don't matter.
Superman is another strong contender, provided he doesn't give The Thing the opportunity to infect him.
And the T-1000 might be the most fascinating matchup because both creatures specialize in imitation, adaptation and making everyone around them incredibly nervous.
Ultimately, though, there is one golden rule when dealing with The Thing:
Never assume the person standing next to you is actually the person standing next to you.
Especially if they suddenly start growing teeth.
What Do You Think?
Who do YOU think could defeat The Thing?
Would you bet on Superman? Dr. Manhattan? Godzilla? The T-1000? Or do you think The Thing would somehow find a way to ruin everyone's day?
Comment below and let us know who you think deserves a spot on the ultimate anti-Thing team!
And remember: if someone in the comments starts insisting they're definitely not The Thing...
Keep an eye on them.
